Bored Boris, Busy Burt, Stapled Stephanie, & Fried Fritz

Even though I'm incredibly optimistic and upbeat, I am delighted by dark writing from Edgar Allan Poe, Edward Gorey, and Tim Burton. The office-themed poems below are inspired by these morbid artists.

Bored Boris
Boris had the audacity to complain that he was bored
While my mountains of work caused me much stress
At my wits end, I strangled him with my mouse cord
And thanked the IT guy who declined my request for wireless

Busy Burt
For days my project was at a haltIt was all Busy Burt's fault
He did not have just 30 seconds to answer my brief email with a simple yes or no
So I dropped an oversized clock on his head from the 7th floor window
Now Burt is not quite so busy and has plenty of time at last
But he still cannot answer my email because he is a little restricted in his full body cast

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Stapled Stephanie
An intern with a low IQ and even lower cleavage took Stephanie's job
For days all Stephanie could do was wail and sob
To stop the tears, she stapled her eyes shut
Her career is still in a rut

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Fried Fritz
The numbers were low and bonuses were at stake
The CFO told Fritz, “Cook the books, do whatever it may take.”
Poor Fritz, being a little dense
Took the order in literal sense
He caught on fire
And a new junior analyst was for hire